Naughty Girl

Yesterday, I stopped in here at the blahg to check on a few things.  Okay, if you’re a blogger, you know by “a few things,” I really meant “my stats.”  I admit it.  Anyway, right there on my dashboard, I found something that was pretty interesting.  Apparently, the most popular searches by people who found my blog involve talking dirty to your spouse or significant other.  I’m sorry, but that is just damn funny!  Know who finds it even funnier?  My husband.

But, seeing that got me to thinking…Just what is it about my blahg that would make Google (or whatever other search engine people are using) think that I’m an expert on talking dirty?  Clearly, a little research was needed.  So, 34 posts after starting my blog, here are a few meaningful Bonesy’s Blahg stats:

# of times the word “fuck” was used: 12

# of times the word “fucking” was used: 7

# of times the word “fucker” was used: 6

# of times the word “bitch” was used: 21

# of times the word “whore” was used: 2

# of times the word “slut” was used: 1

I’m sure there are other “bad” words threaded through my posts, as well.  In case you weren’t aware of this, I cuss like a drunken truck driver who used to be a sailor who was conceived in a back alley by a two dollar crack whore and birthed in a seedy motel.  I’m just sayin’.  But, to be honest, I got a little bored with the searching & counting.

Also, as part of my research… I googled phrases using similar language.  In the name of science, of course.  Here’s what I found…NOTHING!  10 pages into my search, I got bored again & moved on.  I hadn’t even found my blog yet!  Also, thanks to the current blizzard underway, Kid4 was home.  She may be 16, but I just don’t think I’m ready to have that talk with her yet.

So, that brought up even more questions… Just how many sites did those searchers go through before stumbling across mine?  AND.. after searching through all those posts, HOW could you still be curious enough to KEEP searching until you found me?  Jesus Christ, who ARE these people?!  If you’re reading, please raise your hand… And maybe leave me a comment.

I’m not sure what any of this says about me… But I LOVE that I’m now a certified expert on talking dirty!  Who knew?!  (Certainly not my husband, that’s for sure!)  I’m totally going to be on Oprah.  Okay, maybe just Maury.  BUT STILL!  Dudes, when Maury calls, I’m totally taking y’all with me.