Bonesy's Blahg

Naughty Girl

Yesterday, I stopped in here at the blahg to check on a few things.  Okay, if you’re a blogger, you know by “a few things,” I really meant “my stats.”  I admit it.  Anyway, right there on my dashboard, I found something that was pretty interesting.  Apparently, the most popular searches by people who found my blog involve talking dirty to your spouse or significant other.  I’m sorry, but that is just damn funny!  Know who finds it even funnier?  My husband.

But, seeing that got me to thinking…Just what is it about my blahg that would make Google (or whatever other search engine people are using) think that I’m an expert on talking dirty?  Clearly, a little research was needed.  So, 34 posts after starting my blog, here are a few meaningful Bonesy’s Blahg stats:

# of times the word “fuck” was used: 12

# of times the word “fucking” was used: 7

# of times the word “fucker” was used: 6

# of times the word “bitch” was used: 21

# of times the word “whore” was used: 2

# of times the word “slut” was used: 1

I’m sure there are other “bad” words threaded through my posts, as well.  In case you weren’t aware of this, I cuss like a drunken truck driver who used to be a sailor who was conceived in a back alley by a two dollar crack whore and birthed in a seedy motel.  I’m just sayin’.  But, to be honest, I got a little bored with the searching & counting.

Also, as part of my research… I googled phrases using similar language.  In the name of science, of course.  Here’s what I found…NOTHING!  10 pages into my search, I got bored again & moved on.  I hadn’t even found my blog yet!  Also, thanks to the current blizzard underway, Kid4 was home.  She may be 16, but I just don’t think I’m ready to have that talk with her yet.

So, that brought up even more questions… Just how many sites did those searchers go through before stumbling across mine?  AND.. after searching through all those posts, HOW could you still be curious enough to KEEP searching until you found me?  Jesus Christ, who ARE these people?!  If you’re reading, please raise your hand… And maybe leave me a comment.

I’m not sure what any of this says about me… But I LOVE that I’m now a certified expert on talking dirty!  Who knew?!  (Certainly not my husband, that’s for sure!)  I’m totally going to be on Oprah.  Okay, maybe just Maury.  BUT STILL!  Dudes, when Maury calls, I’m totally taking y’all with me.

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January 20, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

4 Comments »

  1. Okay….SO, I REALLy want/need to go to Maury…NOT for as cool a reason as YOU…but, maybe they can tape on the same day HA HA!!

    I want to go so I can make jackass fuckface (& yes I just said that) look like the douche lord he is in front of the planet! Or at least those who watch Maury!!

    * P.S. I LOVE that you talk like a drunken truck driver who used to be a sailor who was conceived in a back alley by a two dollar crack whore and birthed in a seedy motel….it makes my DAY!!!

    Comment by Kel | January 21, 2011 | Reply

    • Okay Kel, here’s the plan… When Maury calls, I agree to do the show about talking dirty. But, ONLY if you get to do the NEXT show about the douche lord. Then we both win! And our travelling girl posse/readership gets an extra day in NYC. SCORE!!

      (Is Maury in New York? I have no real idea. I was kinda hoping for a warmer locale.)

      Anyway, point is… I got your back, girl!!

      Comment by bonesysblahg | January 21, 2011 | Reply

  2. Hehe, I try not to swear too much on my blog, because my parental units read it. I’d hate for them to (correctly) think that I’m a swear-jar away from being a millionaire!

    Comment by leafprobably | January 21, 2011 | Reply

    • Hahaha that’s great! My biggest fans are … my kids. They’ve obviously heard me swear plenty!!

      Comment by bonesysblahg | January 21, 2011 | Reply


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