Bonesy's Blahg

Rage In My Machine

Have I mentioned the fact that I’m a road rager?  ‘Cause I totally am.  And, I’m finally coming to realize that maybe it’s not such a good thing.  You see, I make bad choices.  That’s it.  That’s my confession.  I make bad choices, leading to very bad things, and very bad language, all directed at VERY BAD DRIVERS!!!

… Who may or may not be little old ladies.

… Or drivers ed kids.

Yeah, I’ve reamed both this week.

And, while both totally deserved it, I still felt a little twinge of guilt as I sped past them with my middle finger extended and a winning, expletive-laced tirade that would make Charlie Sheen AND his goddesses blush.

But just a little twinge.

It could have been the terror I saw in that little old lady’s face.

Or the fact that the teenage girl looked like she was just about ready to cry.

OR… the fact that my OWN 16 year old girl had a moving mishap of her own this past weekend.

While I was in the car.

Like most new drivers, she doesn’t like to park.    She can’t quite gauge the turning radius or width of my car just yet.  Despite this, I gently encouraged her to snag a just-opened spot close to the grocery store.

I mean, seriously, how often does THAT happen?  You have to take advantage of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, dammit!

Anyway, as she was turning into the spot, she mis-judged and went to back up a bit to try again.  As she did THAT…another car turned into the lane behind us AND the bastard in the gigantic truck next to that spot decided to back out.  It was a parking lot clusterfuck & she was right in the center of it all.

I screamed.

Not AT her, of course…It was more in an “OH MY GOD, WE’RE TOTALLY GONNA DIE!” way.

But without words.

So, it was really more of a high pitched “AAAAH!”


My point to this is… Double standard much?

(For the record, nothing happened.  No collisions, no bumping.  She’d probably want me to point that out.)

Also, I recently had a near throw-down over a traffic incident.  I laid into a guy so hard, he threw his car into park, opened his door & charged me.  I’m pretty sure the only reason I’m sitting here today, typing, is the fact that his oh-so-sensible wife convinced his hard-charging ass to get back in the car… Clearly, beating the crap out of an overweight,  middle-aged woman in the busiest shopping area in town was not in his best interests.  Y’know, thanks to the witnesses and parking lot cameras.

But me?  I had totally thrown open my own car door & was ready to go at it.  Um, WTF?!   Apparently, that’s just how pissed I get when people cut me off.  I’m willing to throw down with a guy twice my size & half my age in a parking lot, regardless of the presence of witnesses and lot cams.

It may be time for a little yoga or anger management.


June 7, 2016 - Posted by | Confession, Kids, Rant


  1. How in the world did I miss this??? Not sure…but I can definitely relate!! & just for the record….I’m not so sure yoga or anger management will help people like us….we kind of are what we are & I think we are better that way – & besides you have to WANT help & I’m not sure we want help cause I’m really not convinced we really think anything’s wrong with us!! Just sayin….

    Comment by Kel | April 10, 2011 | Reply

  2. Haha, I can remember my Mum trying to teach me to drive. I found it really distracting with her digging her nails into the seat and screaming every time I hit the speed limit. Or turned a corner.

    We decided to leave the driving lessons to dad.

    Comment by leafprobably | April 17, 2011 | Reply

  3. Dor, what’s this about him “beating the crap out of an overweight, middle-aged woman”? I would have totally had my money on YOU! I have seen you in action. Since when do you let beat your ass? You have kicked the crap out of boys since you were little….why stop now! I woulda totally have had my money on YOU!

    Comment by Kim | April 17, 2011 | Reply

  4. I talk to the other drivers while the kids are with me. I say things like “That BETTER be an old person driving…” & “Don’t even THINK about me letting you in, you should have gotten over when you saw the sign…”. That last one is always said while riding super close to the car in front of me. My kids just stare at me, soaking it all in, learning from me – and yet I rant.

    Comment by Mecca | April 20, 2011 | Reply

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