Bonesy's Blahg

The one where I describe what it’s like to be me.

I got a new boss today. I have a sneaking suspicion that she tastes like bananas.  I didn’t lick her.  There are laws.

BUT, I felt like I could smell bananas all day! It’s a curious thing, seeing as how I actually can’t smell.

Instead, I can taste the air around things.  Sometimes.  Today was one of those times & I’ll be damned if that air didn’t taste like an overripe banana!

Not that my new boss is overripe.  I’m pretty sure she just graduated.  It’s a toss-up as to whether it was college or high school.  Either way, I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to have changed her diapers.

When she was a baby.  Not now.  That’s just weird.

ANYWAY…you know how, when people lose one sense, their other senses are heightened?

It’s a myth.

At least for me.

I can’t speak for blind people.

I can speak for mutes, however.  They usually like it, as long as they don’t know what I’m talking about.

Typically, not being able to smell isn’t a bad thing.  I mean, if you have to give up one of your senses, smell is the best choice.

I’m not clear under which scenario you would be forced to give up a sense.  But, if you ever have to choose, take my advice & go with “smell.”

Apparently, in addition to the loss of smell, I’ve also lost my ability to focus.

My point to all of this is that, while I can’t actually smell, I can taste.  (That’s usually the first thing people want to know when they find out my oddity.)

This is both good & bad.

Bananas?  Good.

Dirty diapers?  Not so much.

Because of this, my kids were all potty trained ridiculously early.  My advice to new moms on potty training?  Taste it.  There is no greater motivator than the taste of a shitty diaper.

I’m hoping my new boss continues to taste like bananas.

**I’m blaming this post on the huffing that I may have accidentally done yesterday while doing arts & crafts.  In an enclosed space.  With both spray paint and high performance spray adhesive.**

Advertisements

December 12, 2015 - Posted by | Advice, Family, Kids, People, Work

6 Comments »

  1. This blog is epic!! I needed this….REALLY I did!!! It took me three tries at reading it…..my head hurts now….I’m in a desperate state & Emilee is searching for my Excedrin. THANKS for always giving me the BEST headaches my friend!! You always make me laugh until my head feels like it’s going to burst! It’s SUPER!!

    Comment by Kel | December 12, 2011 | Reply

  2. Well damn girl…you would have DIED at the gun show on Sunday! If those nasty ppl taste as bad as they smell…holy shit! It was such a foul combo of sweat/BO/testosterone/???? Ewww!

    Did you know that Jeff can’t smell either…but he can taste just fine! Although it has to be a strong smell for him to “taste” it…like MEK, gas, paint thinner, or his mom’s nasty perfume! You are in good company!

    Comment by Dawn | December 13, 2011 | Reply

  3. Is that why you “ate the air” above your tea in Detroit? I thought you were joking. Yes, I’m pretty sure other scenes are heightened. I won’t tell you what my deaf friends can do but I run from them at times. They notice EVERYthing! I wish Elisa would see this re:potty training. 🙂 Glad you’re blogging again my friend!

    Comment by The Boze | December 13, 2011 | Reply

    • *senses* (that’s why YOU are the blogger-not me! spelling and other such details…)

      Comment by The Boze | December 13, 2011 | Reply

  4. […] been demoted.  This has nothing to do with my new boss having read my blog.  (I’m pretty sure she hasn’t.)  Actually, it has nothing to do […]

    Pingback by Ratings « Bonesy's Blahg | January 24, 2012 | Reply

  5. […] been demoted.  This has nothing to do with my new boss having read my blog.  (I’m pretty sure she hasn’t.)  Actually, it has nothing to do […]

    Pingback by Ratings « Bonesy's Blahg | January 14, 2017 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: