Bonesy's Blahg


I need to invent a word.  Or, maybe it’s already been invented & I’m just not aware of it yet.  I’d google it, but I’m feeling a little lazy tonight.  So, I’ll just ask you…

Is there a version of peer pressure that pertains to your kids?

Apparently, I kind of checked out of my blog for a while.  I know this because tonight, as I was making dinner, Kid4 said “You haven’t posted in FOREVER.”

Really?  FOREVER??

Oh.  Right.  April 7… 23 days ago.  Yeah, that kind of qualifies as “forever.”

But you’re still not my peer, Kid4!

And THIS is what you get for pressuring me into a post…..

Where have I been for the past 3+ weeks?  Hell if I know.  No, seriously…. I could have been in hell.  I’m not quite sure.

It seems like I’ve been really busy.  I don’t have anything to show for it, though, which means it’s been a pretty unproductive brand o’ busy. So I guess I’ll give you a little run-down of the stuff that’s happened over the past month & hope it amounts to a post.  If not, this is going to be a post about nothing.  I should probably apologize for that now & just get it out of the way.

Also, if this doesn’t amount to a post,  Kid4 will get on my case again.  Apparently, I’M what she does in BioChem.

Today, I nearly hit a chicken.  No, this isn’t a euphemism or a veiled reference to my road rage.  I seriously almost hit a chicken!  I wasn’t even mad at the time.  I have no idea why a chicken was just randomly walking down a fairly busy road, but I will tell you that he OWNED it!  Cars were swerving & he was just walking all cool & chicken-y.  I tried to snap a picture, but all I got was a blurry little black dot, even though he was brown.  Guess you’ll just have to take my word for it.

I don’t have a Volkswagen anymore.  I sold mine last year, but I’m still a little jealous of anyone who IS driving one.  Except for the chick I was behind a few days ago.  She had a gray boa hanging from her rear view mirror & it looked like a dead cat.  Strangely, it almost matched the color of the car,  & now I can’t see a VW without thinking of the dead cat that wasn’t.

In my head, that totally made sense.

Okay… my Pandora Evanescence station just advertised “Underwear.  Learn about underwear” in a link at the bottom of the screen.  WTF?!  What does underwear have to do with Evanescence?  And WHO wants or needs to learn about underwear?  Is there really all that much to learn?  Curious.  Wonder what Evanescence thinks about that?  Are they even still together?  Is it me, or does Amy Lee look exactly like the chick who played Anne Boleyn on “The Tudors?”  Why isn’t the chick who played Anne Boleyn in more stuff?  Girl was AWESOME!

Earlier this week, while I was shopping at Goodwill, I got hit on by a chick.   I was carrying olive green polyester pants, which apparently make me irresistible.  Who knew!?

While I was standing behind her in the checkout line, her debit card got rejected.   Where do you have to be in your life to get your debit card rejected at Goodwill?  Isn’t that pretty much the lowest point you could reach?  On one hand, I kind of felt bad for her.  On the other… Well, here I am blogging about it.

Have you seen the movie “Stone?”  Don’t.  My eyeballs are permanently seared by Milla Jovovich’s 3 inch long nipples & sex scenes with her & Robert DeNiro.  Seriously, her boobies WERE the ugliest I’d ever seen!  Then I watched “Human Planet” the next day.  Milla didn’t hold the record long.

Speaking of body parts… At work, I got an order from someone named Dotty Hymen.  I know I’m basically a 12 year old boy inside a middle aged woman’s body… but holy fuck that cracked me up!!  And I was sick at the time, so it was a phlegmy, wheezy Muttley laugh, which made me laugh even harder, which made me cough up the other lung.  So it was kind of a win-loss thing.  But I still texted a bunch of people to tell them about it.  Seriously… DOTTY HYMEN?  I feel like I want to google that, but I’m kind of afraid of what I might find.

I should totally be sleeping right now.   This turned out to be a scattered, disjointed post about nothing & it had no flow.  Apologies… but I’m totally blaming Kid4 for pressuring  bullying me into it.


May 1, 2011 - Posted by | Family, Friends, Kids, Sleep


  1. Dotty Hyman??? Isn’t that child abuse? How funny though! And where in the hell were you that you saw a chicken cross the road? Did he make it to the other side?

    Comment by Kim | May 1, 2011 | Reply

  2. Where are you? Hope all is well, missing your post.

    Comment by Mecca | May 25, 2011 | Reply

    • GASP! Did I disappear again? Sorry… guess I’ll get back to work now. Thanks for the nudge!!

      Comment by bonesysblahg | May 25, 2011 | Reply

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