Bonesy's Blahg

Vulva Days

My sister is getting married this summer.  It’s a huge deal, y’know… being wedding # 4 & all.  (I keed, I keed!) Actually, it kind of is a big deal, seeing as how this will hopefully be her last wedding. (It’s okay, she lives in another state, so can’t smack me when she reads this.  Also, there’s the fact that, despite being the LITTLE SISTER, I can totally kick her ass.)

In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I have kind of a mental block for dates.  I’m not sure why, but I just have issues remembering stuff like that.  It might have something to do with numbers.  Anyway, I got to thinking about the wedding today & realized I needed to get some vacation days scheduled for the wedding.  Only I couldn’t remember WHAT days I needed.    This is what transpired, via text:

Me: What is wedding date again? Need to schedule vulva days.

Kim: Vulva days? It is July 16

Me:  hahahaha OMG! VACA days!

Kim: That is what I thought! Broom closet is OFF limits this time!**

Me: Goddammit, you never let me have any fun!

Kim: hahaha Too funny! Hey, have the camper arranged for girls’ weekend, too.

Me: SCORE!!! No need to arrange for a broom closet for me that w/e, though.  Also, I’m totally referring to your wedding as “Vulva Days” from now on.

Her: That is just toooooo funny! Have to just love typos! Ummm it was a typo, right? haha

Me: I’m not sure…Maybe!  Weird though, b/c right before that, I emailed (name deleted) to ask for an update on her tit! Vulvas & tits, that’s how I roll.

Yeah.  It’s true.  I really did email my friend to ask about her tit… just before texting my sister to ask when Vulva Days were.  Is it any wonder people are nosy curious as to what goes on in my cubicle?  It’s called multi-tasking, people!  But, if you’re my customer, & it sounds like I was giggling when I answered the phone this afternoon… Now you know why.

**Yes, I do have a broom closet/wedding story.  Don’t we all?



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March 3, 2011 - Posted by | Confession, Family, Friends, Textersations

4 Comments »

  1. This post just provided me with a much needed big fat belly laugh. Thank you Dorene for your multi-tasking typos 🙂

    Comment by Ruth Berman | March 3, 2011 | Reply

    • I’m still not sure if it was a typo, an auto-correct on my “new-ish” phone… or a Freudian slip! Whatever it was, I’m glad it helped brighten your day a bit.

      Comment by bonesysblahg | March 4, 2011 | Reply

  2. Funny Dor…not one person commented on your broom closet story!!! Should I fill them all in?

    Here I am at work just cracking up reading all these blogs I missed. Could you imagine if an important call comes in…like CPR or something & I am laughing???

    Hey, and in my own defense here…isn’t the motto try, try again? Just sayin!!!

    Comment by Kim | April 17, 2011 | Reply

  3. Are you suggesting I scout out the broom closets at Vulva Days? SCORE!!!

    Comment by bonesysblahg | April 17, 2011 | Reply


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