Bonesy's Blahg

5 Things I Need To Do Before I Take Over The World

This one is courtesy of Kid4.  I asked for some suggestions for my Friday 5 & this is one of the MANY she came up with.  Good thing she’s the new admin on my FB fan page (The Suminski Mom).  I’ve kinda had to team up with her lately.  Also, the other kid admin is apparently kind of a slacker.  He was letting that page just wither away.  Wait, maybe she is too.  I haven’t looked at it in a while.  Note to self:  After finishing this post, check the fan page.  If no recent updates, fire kid admin & anoint a new one.  Sure, I’m not the one who started it… but I’m about to be Ruler of the World.  I’m calling eminent domain, goddammit!

Anyway, taking over the world is kind of a daunting task.  Try to make your own list, you’ll see what I mean!  You really have to think about a lot of stuff.  That kinda goes against my “least possible effort” grain.  But here goes:

1) Learn to like people more. Seriously, if I take over the world, everybody would belong to me.  I don’t even like most people!  Therefore, we may have to thin the herd a bit.  Don’t get all indignant with me, this isn’t holocaust-y at all!  I won’t be specifying any particular race or religion or demographic of any kind.  Other than the stupid.  Those bitches got to go!

2) Grow the Bonesy Team (& not through breeding). Running the world is a lot of work, y’all.  I’m really kinda lazy.  I’d need a gigantic team of minions to do the work for me.  Right now, I only have one minion & a bunch of semi-grown children.  (Someday, maybe I’ll get them all in one place to get a group pic for you.) Only one of these Bonesy Team members lives with me.  Also, none of them actually DO anything for me.  Bonesy Team, this has got to change!  Time to start serving me, dammit!  I don’t pay you to sit around & read my blog or facebook posts.  I have a world to take over!!

3) Let go of some stuff & delegate. Once I get my team of minions in place, I’m going to have to delegate.  I’m just not very good at that.  Most of the time, I’d rather just do it myself rather than explain how it needs done.  That way I know it’s done right!  Y’know, MY way.  Other people just don’t know how to do things.

4) Learn math. Dudes, I had to take Consumer Math my senior year just to graduate.  It was the special ed kids, the stoners…and me.  I’d like to tell you I’m kidding.  I’m not.

If you were in my senior math class, no offense intended… But you know you were either a special ed kid or a stoner.  Be honest with yourself, man!

I’ll need some math skills to make sure I keep my new kingdom at a certain number.  Right now, I don’t know that number because I can’t exactly count that high.

5) Put a new picture of me on the blahg. This one is kinda self-explanatory.  My cowgirl pic just isn’t very overlord-y.


November 12, 2010 - Posted by | Friday 5, Friends, Kids, Work


  1. #4 totally cracked me up! I kinda liked classes like that (had 1 or 2, it was my punishment for skipping schl for…oh…a semester-don’t do it, kids!!!!) Classes like that were more entertaining. Glad you got the experience. #5…yea, you’re right about that!

    Comment by Krister | November 12, 2010 | Reply

    • #4 wasn’t entertaining. Okay, maybe it was a LITTLE entertaining. I mean, they WERE special ed kids & stoners. But mostly, it was awful. It was still math & I couldn’t drop it or I wouldn’t graduate. That was pressure! Good thing they gave us that little mint green calculator to use. Though that did kind of label us as the special ed class. Nobody else had the mint green calculators. The smart kids got the good ones. The mint green calculators were like a badge of dishonor. They screamed out “I can’t do math! And it’s 1988!!”

      Comment by bonesysblahg | November 12, 2010 | Reply

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