Bonesy's Blahg

5 Things I’ve Missed From My Couch

So, I’ve spent the past 3 1/2 days laid up on the couch.  I’m sure it was the flu or, you know, sarin poisoning or something.    My point is, I’ve missed out on a lot of super cool stuff by being sick!  Or just regular stuff.  Whatever.  So here’s my list of 5 things I’ve missed.  You be the judge.

1) Customer Service Week.  Seriously, a whole week dedicated to me!   What? “Customer Service Week” is really just a politically correct way of saying “Celebrate Bonesy Week.”  Everybody knows that.  While the rest of my department was playing games, winning prizes, & eating ice cream… I was lying half-dead on my couch, watching the entire season of The Closer, and trying to snort Vick’s VapoRub.  (Don’t try this at home.  It really doesn’t work, & kinda just burns.)

2) Chrissie Hynde.  Live. Anyone who knows me knows that she’s my all-time favorite.  And oh, did I mention she was playing nearby?  Ok, “nearby” was really an hour away.  And technically, she played Tuesday night & I didn’t get really sick until Wednesday.  Also, I hadn’t bought tickets.  But this totally still counts!

3) A possible near-abduction of my daughter, in our very safe neighborhood, close to a school.  Ok, in all reality, I wouldn’t have been walking with her anyway – she’s 16.  But, had I felt better, I would have fiercely rushed out in an attempt to hunt the bastard down & at least have some info to give the police.  Instead, I miserably laid on the couch while her friend walked her home.  Nope, not one of my prouder moments.  (In my defense, he totally could have been trying to ask for directions.)  Also, this should have probably been my #1… but I thought I’d bury it here in the middle so it’s not so noticeable.  Hey, at least I’m honest.

4) A husband to cater to my every whim coddle … take care of me.  Yes, I am married…but he’s working a ridiculous amount of hours these days.  I should definitely have a talk with his boss.

5) My Friday 5.  Yep, I told myself I’d have this done yesterday.  And then I think the drugs settled in, or I got hung up watching The Crazies with Kid4.  Or both, which is probably not recommended.


October 9, 2010 - Posted by | Confession, Kids, Work


  1. I’m so glad you’re actually updating this! ….What is your “Friday 5?”

    Comment by Your Favorite Child. | October 9, 2010 | Reply

    • Ok, whoever wrote this comment is clearly mistaken, because I am OBVIOUSLY the real favorite!

      Comment by the REAL favorite! | October 14, 2010 | Reply

  2. An almost abduction of your child is a “super cool” thing you missed out on??

    Comment by Kid4 | October 9, 2010 | Reply

  3. You know, it’s a awful thing to tell a lie.

    Comment by Your Favorite Child. | October 15, 2010 | Reply

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