Bonesy's Blahg

If I don’t come out of the bathroom tomorrow, at least you’ll know why.

So tonight we had Kid4’s annual softball banquet.   At the $9 buffet.

Um, Softball Peeps… The $9 buffet?  REALLY??  I thought you liked us!

Buffets are like community feeding troughs, incubators for all things salmonella & e coli tainted.  Do I need to describe to you the petri dish creepy crawlies found in buffet food?  It’s displayed at optimum temperature for bacterial growth!  Now I’m no scientist,  but even I can tell you that creamy salad dressing needs a little refrigeration.  The chicken my husband ate?  Yeah, it needed a little can of Sterno underneath it.   (I’ll let him deal with this particular gastrointestinal nightmare.  I won’t touch that stuff.  There’s skin & bones on it!  What do I look like, a SAVAGE?!)

Also, the thought of some fat bastard breathing on the food I’m about to eat?  Disturbing!  The idea that some snot-nosed, self-touching  little fucker fingered up the biscuits before putting them back?

(Go ahead & re-read that last sentence.  I’m thinking you might have mixed up the fucker & the fingered.  I’ll wait…)


Also, they don’t serve alcohol.  WHAT THE HELL, BUFFET PEOPLE??


May 22, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. LOL! Yuck! Well, I am a microbiologist and I identify pathogens in stool cultures eg. salmonella…and I hate buffets for the very reasons you just mentioned. You may not be a scientist but you hit the nail on the head in your usually hilarious fashion 🙂

    Comment by Missy | May 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Well, I thought about consulting you before posting this… Seeing as how you’re the only expert I know. Then my thought process went somewhere like “ooh, shiny!” and I moved on to something else. Glad I got it right, though. Otherwise, the hordes of people that read this blog (ha! Yeah, I crack me up.) would be taking bad scientific knowledge out into the world & spreading it. That never ends well.

      Comment by bonesysblahg | May 22, 2010 | Reply

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