Bonesy's Blahg

Drink up, bitches!

So, I’ve been home from my annual “Tour of  States Cooler Than Mine” for well over a week now.  Since I’ve been back, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down to write about the awesomeness of this “girl trip.”   The problem is, it would take more paragraphs than any of you care to read to get it all down.  Also, I’m lazy.

Instead, I give you …

Things We  Saw, Said & Did On Vacation:

Saw:

– The Old People Prom was at the same hotel we were staying at!  Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.  OLD.PEOPLE.PROM!  Old people..in prom dresses!  I tried to take some sneak pics, but those damn old people just won’t stand still!

– Butt Pirates. (I’d explain, but you really don’t want me to. You’ll just have to trust me here.)

– Wee Man & the Tilted Kilt (One of K2’s* many little friends.)

– P Diddy! (Yep, on my list, he ranks lower than both Butt Pirates & Wee Man.)

– Hocker Maid (Hocked a loogie right on the hall floor of our $200/nite hotel!)

———————————————————————————————-

Said

– “Drink up, bitches!”

– “You’re an idiot, too.  B’s* the only non-idiot, & she’s stoned!”

– “I can take crabs home to my husband!”

– “It smells funky!”

-“Thank God we brought a girl!”

– “I’m cold!”

“I know, I can see ’em!”

– “K2* has no fortune.  Good thing she came this year… She might not make it to San Diego!”

– “K1*, there’s bananas on that tree over there!”

“Oh!” (And then rushes off to take pics of what were really dead palm fronds, because she’s just that gullible.)

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

Did

– get stuck in the airport elevator (K1*)

– get elbowed by a little old lady in that elevator JUST as I was opening a water bottle.  Yep, all over my crotch.

– change pants in the backseat of the rental car in the parking garage.  Yes, I am aware parking decks have lots of cameras!

– make a mad dash with jalapeno throw-up.  (This MAY have had something to do with “Drink up, bitches!”) (K2*)

– have dry heaves. (Ahem… This also MAY have had something to do with  “Drink up, bitches!”) (V*)

break the rental car. (There are reasons you don’t EVER buy a used rental car!!)

– get stalked by old men.

– try in vain to find a homeless person. (Seriously, Florida, where do you hide all your damn homeless people?!  We had a gift for them!)

– play lame-ass reggae games.

– take a pic with a sleeping hot dude! (V*)

– pay cash to get on a kiddie ride.  Alone. (V*)

– get hunted by doves & geckos. (K1*)

– play with our little friends. (Which were really whole crayfish at a Mongolian buffet)  (K2*)

– get freaked the fuck out by those little friends! (That little bastard moved, I don’t care what any of y’all say!)

– find our new mascot, Running Man, & start his world tour!! (We plan on taking this creepy little fucker everywhere we go & getting pics.  I’ll get some uploaded one of these days.)

And that just about sums it up.  We’ll be making this an annual event.  Next up, San Diego!  If you’re in SoCal, now might be a good time to get your disaster preparedness team ready. 

* Names have been altered to protect the not-so-innocent.

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May 20, 2010 - Posted by | Friends

2 Comments »

  1. Well done, D1! (Are we now Star Wars characters?). I do have some running man pics. Just haven’t downloaded them from your emails. Also, IF my hike isn’t canceled again this wkend, I hope to have him w us. Maybe pose w a few hiker guys. We’ll see where that goes…

    Comment by kris | May 20, 2010 | Reply

    • I don’t know about the Star Wars character thing. I’m not quite that geeky. BUT I can’t really do the anonymous thing if I throw your names out there!

      So maybe it’s just more like secret agents. We have REAL names… but the code names sound much cooler.

      Comment by bonesysblahg | May 20, 2010 | Reply


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